Post by Aaron on Jun 27, 2006 0:11:13 GMT -5
Why is it all my stories involve stupidity? We've done crashes. We've done the hearse. Now it's time for a colegiate drinking story.
So I worked in college as a security officer, an RA(Resident Assistant), and maintenace. This particular weekend I was off duty. There was a party in one of the town houses where the "cool" kids stayed.(I.E. those with money!) Now at this school there were only two of us from Maine. Myself and a rather large gentleman by the name of Ogre. I don't even know his real name that's what he had us call him. Ogre was from "The County" Which if you look at a map of Maine takes up the entire Top of the state. Now Ogre and I happened to be in said townhouse together. Things were going well until someone challenged the honor of all of Maine by claiming we couldn't handle liquor. I would have laughed it off but not Ogre. Ogre promptly grabbed an unopened Magnum of Jack Daniels ripped the top off and proceded to drain half the bottle in one swig. He then smiled and handed the bottle to me. I remember my brain trying in vain to reason with my pride but it soon sat quietly and watched in amusement. With not just the honor of the state of Maine but my own on the line I raised the bottle to my lips and drained it. Now despite my size I am a cheap drunk. After successfully completing the deed, I made my excuses and went outside. I figured that what went in was about to come out and was best not witnessed. A couple minutes passed and I was still fine so I went on a walkabout. I shortly met up with the head of security.(MY BOSS) We chatted for awhile about the goings on around campus. As we talked he witnessed the strangest thing he ever saw in is life. In the space of two minutes I went from a normal competent human being, to a drooling, sluring, falling down total drunk idiot. ( I am by the way a happy drunk! I don't get mean and have never ever been in a fight....size matters). My poor boss thought I had had a stroke. He was getting ready to call 911. Luckily someone came by and told him what happened. His best thought for a cure was keep me with him all night. We probably walked 20 miles around campus that night with him forcing me to drink bottled water constantly. I do have him to thank for keeping me alive. But I alone was fully resposible for the misery I suffered the next day.
Learn from my mistakes people...I'll make more. And if you get sick of stupid stories I'll stop!!
Aaron
So I worked in college as a security officer, an RA(Resident Assistant), and maintenace. This particular weekend I was off duty. There was a party in one of the town houses where the "cool" kids stayed.(I.E. those with money!) Now at this school there were only two of us from Maine. Myself and a rather large gentleman by the name of Ogre. I don't even know his real name that's what he had us call him. Ogre was from "The County" Which if you look at a map of Maine takes up the entire Top of the state. Now Ogre and I happened to be in said townhouse together. Things were going well until someone challenged the honor of all of Maine by claiming we couldn't handle liquor. I would have laughed it off but not Ogre. Ogre promptly grabbed an unopened Magnum of Jack Daniels ripped the top off and proceded to drain half the bottle in one swig. He then smiled and handed the bottle to me. I remember my brain trying in vain to reason with my pride but it soon sat quietly and watched in amusement. With not just the honor of the state of Maine but my own on the line I raised the bottle to my lips and drained it. Now despite my size I am a cheap drunk. After successfully completing the deed, I made my excuses and went outside. I figured that what went in was about to come out and was best not witnessed. A couple minutes passed and I was still fine so I went on a walkabout. I shortly met up with the head of security.(MY BOSS) We chatted for awhile about the goings on around campus. As we talked he witnessed the strangest thing he ever saw in is life. In the space of two minutes I went from a normal competent human being, to a drooling, sluring, falling down total drunk idiot. ( I am by the way a happy drunk! I don't get mean and have never ever been in a fight....size matters). My poor boss thought I had had a stroke. He was getting ready to call 911. Luckily someone came by and told him what happened. His best thought for a cure was keep me with him all night. We probably walked 20 miles around campus that night with him forcing me to drink bottled water constantly. I do have him to thank for keeping me alive. But I alone was fully resposible for the misery I suffered the next day.
Learn from my mistakes people...I'll make more. And if you get sick of stupid stories I'll stop!!
Aaron
